Alice
by Violet2389
Summary: What happened to Alice in the asylum in the years before her transformation into a vampire? What happened after she was turned, but before she found Jasper and the Cullens?
1. Chapter 1

Alice

Chapter 1

Cynthia and I were running through a field of beautiful sunflowers. Our hair was tied with the red ribbons that our mother had done for us. It was blowing behind us as we ran and laughed together. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining bright, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The sky was a beautiful bright blue colour and it wasn't too hot or humid out.

Suddenly I stopped. I got that feeling again and froze. Not again!

All I could see were rain clouds and lightning. I could hear thunder booming in the background. The sky was dark, and storm clouds assaulted the sky.

I blinked as I heard Cynthia yelling my name.

"Are you okay, Mary?" she asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine."

"Did _it _happen again?" she asked softly.

I nodded and looked away from her.

"Don't you think you should tell mommy and daddy?" she asked.

"No." I said. She and I were three years apart. She was seven, I was ten. "They'll think I'm crazy."

"But they might be able to help you!" she cried.

"Do you want me to have to go away?" I asked. "They'll send me away! Do you want that?"

"No!" she cried, clutching my shoulders tightly. "No! I don't want you to go anywhere Mary!"

"Then don't say anything!" I said.

"Okay." She said.

"Come on; let's go home…it's going to rain."

"How do you…?" she trailed off and I gave her a _look _that told her exactly how I knew. We walked back to our house together quietly.

"What are you two doing back?" our mother asked.

"Mary said she thinks it's going to rain." Cynthia said. I shot her a look of pure death.

"What are you talking about, Mary?" our mother asked. "It's beautiful outside."

"I just have a feeling." I said quickly trying to think of something. "I don't know, I just think…" I trailed off as thunder boomed outside.

Our mother turned and stared at me. "How did you know?"

I shrugged and went up to the bedroom that I shared with Cynthia. I didn't want to talk to my mother about this. She would know.

I sat by my window and pulled my diary out from under the floorboards where I hid everything dear to me. I grabbed a pen and began writing furiously.

_Dear diary,_

_It happened again today. This time while I was out with Cynthia. She's the only person who knows about these visions. She's the only one who I've ever told. I haven't told my parents or any of my friends. They would all think that I was crazy. The only reason I told Cynthia was because she saw me one day, clutching the railing to go downstairs, frozen in shock, and unable to move. _

_When I came out of it she had asked what happened, and I had dragged her up to our bedroom and told her everything. At first she thought I was crazy, until I predicted that our aunt from out of town would be at our house within the hour. Sure enough, half an hour later she showed up at our doorstep._

_Cynthia had thought I was absolutely insane at first, but promised to keep her big mouth shut. Ever since then she had been super cautious around me, as if I was going to be pulled into a vision at any moment. I didn't like that she was always so scared to be around me as if I was going to predict her death or something. _

_I hated what would happen to me. I hated these visions. This curse! Some people may think it was a gift, but I knew better. It was a curse! Some people would say that I should be honoured to have this happen to me, but I hated it. It wasn't what I would want. I was a freak. I would never be normal. Who would ever want to be with the freak that could see the future?_

_-M.A.B._

As I signed my latest entry with my initials, I slid my diary back under the floor boards and went downstairs to help my mother prepare dinner. I was always very cautious when I was around my family, and had learned the warning signs of an oncoming vision a while back, just so I could excuse myself in time.

I cut up some vegetables and helped my mother cook them. I quite enjoyed cooking. It was a lot of fun, especially helping my mother cook. Tonight we were having vegetables and steak that my father had brought home not twenty minutes ago. He had been soaking wet from the pouring rain and had been grumpy until he saw me.

It had always been clear to me that I was his favourite. No matter what kind of day he was having, whenever he saw me waiting at the door for him a smile lit his face. I had considered telling him about the visions numerous times, but could never bring myself up to it. I was scared of what he would say. I was scared of what anybody would say about my visions.

After dinner was prepared, we all sat together and ate it at the table, just like a normal family would.

But I wasn't normal. I was different. I was a freak among what was socially acceptable.


	2. Chapter 2: Alienated

Chapter 2: Alienated

**Three years later**

A dark room. That was all I could see. A very dark room and I could hear what sounded like electric shocks in the background.

I blinked out of the vision and looked around, making sure no one had seen. I was the only one in my bedroom. I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew that if Cynthia had seen that, she would pressure me to tell our parents again, and if my parents had seen me they would think I was absolutely crazy. I knew that they would send me away to a scary place, a place quite like the one I had seen in the vision…they would send me there, and I was scared of that. I was absolutely terrified of the prospect of going anywhere away from here. It was too scary to even imagine.

"Mary! Do you want to go outside?" Cynthia asked coming into our bedroom.

"No thanks." I said. "I'm tired. Maybe later."

"Please, Mary?" she asked, jutting her bottom lip out. "I want to go outside. Is it going to rain?"

"I don't know." I said, staring out the window.

"Can't you just _look_?" she asked.

"It doesn't work like that Cynthia!" I yelled. "You know that I can't control what I see! I can't control when I have a vision! You know that I can't choose when and what I'm seeing! I hate having these visions; if I could choose when I had them I would never have them!"

"Visions?" our mother's voice floated into our room from the hallway.

My head whipped around to see our mother standing in the bedroom doorway.

"What are you talking about, Mary?" she asked seriously. "What visions are you talking about?"

"Nothing." I squeaked.

"Mary…just tell her." Cynthia said quietly. "You couldn't have kept it a secret forever."

"It's nothing." I said fiercely. As if I was trying to convince myself as well as my mother.

"Mary Alice Brandon you tell me the truth right now." She said sternly. My mother was more than likely not afraid of my well-being, she was afraid of what the neighbour's would think. She was afraid of what the neighbour's would think of them for having a freak for a daughter who saw visions of the future. I was afraid of telling her the truth, but I knew that if I didn't, Cynthia would end up telling her.

"I…I can see visions of the future." I said quietly.

My mother stared at me as if I had grown a second head. This had been exactly what I was afraid of. This is what I had wanted to avoid. She thought that I was crazy.

She pulled Cynthia close to her, and pulled Cynthia out of our bedroom, before quickly closing-and locking-the door behind her. Alienated. I was alienated from my own family. My mother was afraid of me. She was probably sitting at the kitchen table interrogating Cynthia about anything and everything I had told her about the visions.

I wanted to cry my eyes out. I wanted to run away. I wanted to leave the house as soon as I could. I didn't want to get sent away, I wanted to be able to stay here. I popped up the floorboards and grabbed my diary and pen.

_Dear diary,_

_It happened today…mother found out. She heard Cynthia and I arguing, and I fear that now she will send me away. I don't want to be sent away! I want to stay here; I don't want to have to go somewhere where I wouldn't know anyone, away from my family. They surely wouldn't visit me. _

_Would they be allowed to visit me? Would they even want to visit their daughter…their daughter who was a freak?_

_I was a freak. Maybe I had to be put away. Maybe I was crazy. Maybe I did need help…maybe I needed to go there, and maybe it wouldn't be forever. Maybe it would only be for a little bit, and maybe they would cure me. Maybe the visions would stop. _

_I would only know when it happened. I knew that she would have me sent away, and I knew that I had absolutely no say in it. Sooner or later she would come up to my room and tell me that I was to pack my bags and be ready to go by the time my father got home. It wouldn't surprise me if she had called him right away when I had told her and he was on his way home now. _

_I can hear someone coming up the stairs…I hope that next time I write in this it will be in the comfort of my own home, and not some cell somewhere._

_-M.A.B._

A knock at the door made me jump.

"It's locked." I said softly. I heard the door unlock and then watched as it swung open. My father stood on the other side of the door, face ashen.

"Pack your bags."

That was all he said before he turned and left. Three words was all it took to make my world crash down around my ears. Three words that crippled me beyond belief. So suddenly? I was leaving so suddenly? With tears in my eyes, I placed my belongings in my suitcase, including my diary. I couldn't leave that here. It was my most prized possession, and I wouldn't ever be able to leave it behind.

As I finished packing up what little I wanted to take with me. And when I was finished, I carried my suitcase downstairs. I didn't get to see them very clearly, as my father shuffled me out the door quickly, but I knew that Cynthia and my mother were sitting at the kitchen table together, crying. I could hear the sobs. My father led me to his car, and loaded my suitcase inside, and I got in the car.

Neither of us said a word as my father drove. I could see the strain on his face from the situation. I wanted to say something to him, but I didn't know what to say. I wanted to beg him to turn the car around and take me home, that I didn't need to go to this place.

But I couldn't make my voice work. No matter what I thought of to say, I couldn't make my voice work.

He pulled up to a huge scary building. It was dark and massive, and completely horrifying.

"Is this where I'm going?" I whispered.

He nodded. "It isn't forever, Ali. We will try to visit you as much as we can."

I bit back the tears that threatened to surface as he carried my suitcase and led me into the daunting building. I was shaking with fear as one of the men took my suitcase from my father.

"You aren't coming with me?" I asked my father. "Daddy, I'm scared."

He hugged me, but let go quickly. "Ali baby, I'm sorry, but I can't come any farther with you."

He turned away from me and walked away. With nothing but a hug to say goodbye, he walked away.

"Come on now, little lady." Said the man who took my suitcase from my father. He led me to what was meant to be my room.

It was literally nothing more than a cell. There was a bed and a toilet. That was it. That was all I had. A bed and a toilet. Oh, and a door. Thank god I had a door. The man put my suitcase on the floor of the cell, and I went inside. He slammed the door behind me, and I heard it lock.

I sat on the bed. This was my new living quarters? When the door was closed I could barely see an inch in front of my face. I put my head against the wall, and closed my eyes. Not that there was much of a difference between when my eyes were opened and closed in this place. How was I going to get through this?

"Are you sitting on the bed?" boomed a voice from outside my cell.

"Yes." I squeaked timidly.

The door opened and a man who was ghostly pale with eyes like butterscotch appeared in the doorway. Underneath his eyes were dark purple bruises. He was gorgeous. His dark hair was cut perfectly, and his facial structure was perfection…the face of a model. He was quite young, younger than the guy who had brought in my suitcase. Maybe in his twenties.

He looked surprised when he saw me. He looked at the tray he was holding, then back at me. "Mary Alice Brandon?"

I nodded.

"You're younger than most patients here." he said. "I'm Tobey, I brought you your dinner."

"Thank you." I mumbled.

He placed the tray on my bed. "I'll be back in about an hour to pick this up."

And without another word, he left my cell, locking the door behind him. I took a bite out of dinner. It looked like an omelette, but tasted like nothing. Maybe it was just my state of mind that was throwing off my taste buds, or maybe it just didn't have any taste period. There were some vegetables on the side of the omelette, but I didn't eat those. I had never been a big vegetable eater.

A while later-it was hard to keep track of time in this place-Tobey came back and took my tray.

"Hey," he said. "I know it sucks now, but once you get out of here it'll be better."

I nodded and he left. I lay down on the bed, and tried to fall asleep. I doubted I would get a very good sleep, but it was worth a shot to try, right?

Somehow, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was in another room with bright fluorescent lights. I was laying on my back on a hard, cold surface. There were people all around me, bustling around, in lab coats. I looked around, confused. I tried to open my mouth to say something; to ask where I was, but then I realized something hard was in my mouth. It tasted like wood.

Suddenly a burst of electricity burst through me, and I realized what the piece of wood in my mouth was for. I bit down into it; hard, and it stopped me from crying out in pain. The pain was unbearable. Imagine the worst amount of pain you can imagine, and multiply it by one hundred. I didn't know what was happening to me, and just as I was calming down from the first shock, another shock shot through me. I bit down on the piece of wood again, feeling tears spring to my eyes.

I thought I heard someone mutter "one more" but I could have been mistaken. Sure enough, moments later another surge shot through me. After a few minutes, they unstrapped me…I hadn't even realized that my arms and legs had been strapped down. They took the piece of wood out of my mouth. I wanted to ask what they had done to me, but I didn't have the strength. I was shaken, and scared. Two of the male workers helped me off the table, or whatever it was that I had been laying on, and helped me walk back to my cell. I was super shaky on my legs, and if they hadn't been there to support me, I surely would have fallen and been unable to get up.

They sat me on my bed, and I lay down, feeling exhausted.

"Just wait till tomorrow, little psychic." One of them said with laughter in his voice. "We may do more to you tomorrow."

Those words haunted me. How could they do more? Wasn't three shocks through my body enough? What more could they possibly do to me?

A while later, Tobey came into my room.

"I brought you lunch." He said.

I shook my head. "No thanks…I'm not hungry."

Immediately his face changed, concern clouded his features. "They did shock treatments on you?"

I shrugged. I had had no idea what they had done to me today.

"They can't fix what you have." He said angrily; almost as if it was to himself. "They don't realize that it isn't fixable. No matter what they do, it won't work."

I didn't say anything. Tobey knew what they had done to me, he could tell just from taking one look at me.

I wasn't sure when he did it, but he left my cell, closing the door softly behind him. I'm sure he had wanted to slam it anger, but he hadn't wanted to scare me.

_Tobey had said what I have isn't fixable._ I thought suddenly. _No matter what they do, it won't work._

What did _that_ mean? Would that mean more shock treatments until they thought I was cured? And how would they know when I was cured? There was nothing I could do, especially since I could barely speak after I went for shock treatments.

What were they going to do to me?


	3. Chapter 3: Time

Chapter 3: Time

Minutes turned to hours. Hours turned to days. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. Months turned to years. What seemed like hours was quite probably just mere seconds ticking by. Time became muddled, and I lost track of the days…weeks…months…maybe even years? I had tried to keep track of the days because every morning they took me for shock treatments…I had tried to count how many days I had been going, but the treatments soon became worse and worse. And over time I began to lose feeling. Once they realized that I was losing feeling from the treatments, they would up the dosage to ensure that I would still feel it. What seemed like minutes was quite probably just the seconds ticking by,

My visions got confusing too…because every time I saw the same thing. A dark room and the sound of electricity surging through wires. I couldn't tell the difference between reality and the visions anymore.

The only thing that was constant anymore was Tobey coming in to bring me my meals, but most of the time most of the food went to waste. I couldn't eat after my shock treatments, it made me want to throw up to even think about eating something whenever I came back from one.

I knew that Tobey was worried about me not eating, but in all honesty I couldn't bring myself to eat anything anymore. It just made me feel even worse. I would swallow food down to make him happy, but that was truly all I could manage. He had learned not to bring me any breakfast or lunch…I couldn't eat it after the treatments. I needed to wait a while before I could even think about eating anything.

I had tried to write in my diary as often as I could to keep track of the days that went by, but I soon just gave up on that. Every day it was the same thing that I was writing about…it became too repetitive to try and keep track of. I had no idea how long I had even been in here. And I had no idea how long I would be here. They never told me anything. I had asked Tobey once or twice, but they didn't tell him anything either. He had promised to ask them what was happening, and I don't know if he had just told me that he did ask to make me feel better, or if he actually did ask and they didn't tell him anything either.

Tobey was really the only thing keeping me sane in this hellhole. And he was barely keeping me sane. I had lost most feeling now. It took more than ten shocks for me to feel the pain of the treatments now. They would keep on shocking me until they knew I felt it.

Whenever I came back from a treatment he would come into my cell and talk with me. Half the time I didn't have half a mind to really listen intently, let alone answer to what he was saying. Sometimes I just watched him talk. It was soothing to watch him talk sometimes; it truly calmed me down after a treatment to just see his mouth forming words. Sometimes it made me feel more human to just watch his mouth move. His perfect mouth moving.

I know how crazy it sounded, to just watch someone's mouth moving while they talked, but it honestly did help me feel normal again. In fact right now, Tobey was sitting in the corner of my cell telling me about his day. I'm pretty sure he was talking about one patient who threw their tray of food at him, but I couldn't be sure. The treatment I had had today had been particularly bad, and even hours after I had had it, I still wasn't in a good frame of mind.

I was pretty sure I was the only patient who he did this for. I think I was the only one who he would actually sit with and talk to. I truly did like Tobey. I truly enjoyed having him here with me. Without him, I don't know what I would do, or what shape I would be in. would I be in worse shape? Could it get any worse than it already was? Was it even possible for me to be in any worse shape than I already was?

Tobey and I both knew that I was in bad shape, yet neither of us wanted to really say it out loud. It seemed as though if we said it out loud, it ruin what we had. It would ruin the hope that we shared that I would get out of here one day. Tobey was always talking to me about when I would get out of this place, where I would go, what I would do, everything. He had told me that if my family wasn't coming to get me…or didn't want me…he would take me home with him and give me a place to stay. It was super nice of him to offer, but I had a feeling that I wouldn't be getting out of this place anytime soon, and I didn't know how long is offer would stand.

Tobey, like my father, never called me Mary. Always Alice. I never was sure why he didn't call me Mary, but to be honest, I didn't mind. It reminded me of home.

"What day is it today?" I whispered.

I had probably cut off Tobey, as I think his mouth had been moving, but he didn't seem to care. He was surprised at the fact that I had actually spoken.

"December twenty fourth, nineteen twenty-two." He answered.

I stared at him. Nineteen twenty-two? I had been in here for two years?

"Two years." I whispered, as if needing him to confirm it.

"Yeah, Alice, it's been two years." He said softly.

I had lost two years of my life. Tomorrow it was Christmas. I had missed two Christmases with my family…two of my birthdays…two Thanksgivings…two Easters…two years I had been away from my family. I wanted to start crying, but I didn't thank my body was physically capable of doing that anymore. I didn't think that my body could actually produce tears anymore.

"What's wrong Alice?" he asked softly. I knew that he was just trying to get me to talk more, as I hadn't spoken in god knows how long. I hadn't said anything to him when he talked to me. Not much of anything he had told me had really sunk in. certain things he told me actually stuck with me, but most of it just went in one ear out the other.

"It's been so long." I whispered. "It's been so long since I've been out of this place…since I've been outside…I don't even think I remember what outside looks like anymore."

"Bright." He said with a smile. "Outside it's bright. And happy. Maybe they'll let me walk you outside one day. As long as you promise not to try and escape."

"Would you really do that?" I asked, feeling something for the first time in ages. Feeling hope. I felt hope that I would be allowed outside of my cell for something other than the treatments. I hoped beyond hope that my doctors would allow me to go outside…breathe the fresh air…walk in the snow…it was December, it was sure to be snowy outside.

"I can try." He said. After that he started talking some more, but I began to find it hard to keep up. I was trying to remember how it was before I was in here. I struggled to put together my parents' and sister's faces in my mind. It was hard to remember what I looked like.

How different would I look compared to when I came in here? I had aged two years; a lot would change in that time. How would my sister look now? How would…I found it difficult to try and remember her name…how could I have forgotten my own sister's name?

Cynthia. My sister's name was Cynthia. I was quite proud of myself for remembering her name…and that made me sad. It made me sad that I had struggled to remember my own sister's name. My sister who had been my closest friend for most of my life, and I had forgotten her name. That was what this place was doing to me. They were trying to erase my life before I came here. They were trying to erase any memory that I had of anything before I had come here.

Obviously they were trying to make me forget everything. Were they trying to make me forget about the visions? Maybe that's what their plan was to get them to go away. Maybe they thought that if I forgot about the visions I wouldn't have them anymore. I knew that wouldn't happen. It didn't matter whether I remembered about them or not, I would still have them. It was inescapable. No matter what I tried I wouldn't be able to get rid of the visions. They were a curse that couldn't be escaped. And now, they were even worse. Every single vision was the same thing, the same room, the same sounds…the same everything. Reality and the visions were starting to blend. It was hard to tell the difference between what was real and what was a vision.

I vaguely remembered Tobey saying good bye to me and leaving the cell to get back to work. I remember hearing the door shut behind him, and an odd sense of loneliness fell over me. I had no companion to sit with now. No one to fill the silence of the room. No one there to talk to me and soothe me.

I couldn't sleep either. Whenever I actually did sleep, my dreams were filled with memories of the shock treatments…somehow in my dreams I could actually feel the shock surging through my body. Numerous times, I had woken up screaming, and soon after Tobey's strong cool arms were around me, trying to calm me down. I was glad for Tobey. He was literally my saviour. I was glad that I had been lucky enough to get him to come and bring me my meals.

_**Tobey**_

As I walked out of Alice's room, I pushed the cart with all the patients' trays on it. Alice was in bad shape, we both knew it. She didn't say anything about it…well she didn't say much of anything anyway, and I didn't want to get her hopes down. I wanted her to have the hope that she would get out of here one day…I had a feeling Alice would never get out of this place. The doctors didn't realize that what she had would never be cured. It was a gift.

Of course, I could always give her the option that nobody else could give her. I could save her in a way that no one else could. I could bite her, sneak her away from this place, and tell anyone who asked that she had died in her sleep, and take her to a safe place and wait for her to wake up.

But she was still young. I couldn't turn a fifteen year old. I had been nineteen when I had been turned, and my maker had thought I was too young…but I had been dying.

I thought back to it. I couldn't remember much of that night, just the pain from the venom coursing through my veins. My maker had told me why he had turned me after I had woken up and fed on my first animal.

Apparently I had been hiking through the woods, and was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Some men I knew, and had never been on good terms with, were hunting nearby. I don't know if it was a coincidence that they were right where I was, or if they had planned to come out and get me while I was hiking.

You see, my maker had told me that on numerous occasions he had broken up fights between these men and me. He had told me that they always wanted to pick a fight with me, and most of the time I had got the better of them and they didn't like that. They had apparently hated me since I had first gone to that town, and they had had it in for me since day one.

It's still a mystery as to whether or not they had planned to kill me that day; my maker had told me that he could smell the alcohol on their breath from far away, maybe they had just intended to hunt animals, and truly did mistaken me for one. After I fell to the ground, they ran off, and my maker came to my rescue and bit me. I can clearly remember the pain of the venom coursing through my veins. I remember wishing for death instead of having to go through that pain.

When I woke up, I fed on an animal, and my maker explained everything to me. I have never touched human blood, never tasted it in my life; I had never even craved it before. Well, before I met Alice. My maker had explained to me that some humans had blood that smelled absolutely amazing. Beyond anything you could ever imagine. Some people almost had a floral scent…and Alice had it. Her blood was what drew me to her in the beginning of her stay here. I had been drawn to cell, thirst burning deep in my throat. I grabbed a tray of food, and banged on the door, making sure whoever it was was sitting where they were supposed to. When I walked in I was shocked. She was merely thirteen years old! I was shocked that someone so young would be brought into this place. I could tell that she was scared, and that day I promised myself that I would do everything that I could to make her feel as comfortable as possible here. So, I sat with her every day and talked to her. I just sat there and talked with her about anything.

It didn't bother me that most of the stuff I told her didn't really sink thing, but there were certain things that got a small reaction out of her. Like if I said something funny, she would small. It was always a small smile, but it was still a smile.

I finished my shift and went outside, tightening my jacket around my neck. Of course that was just for show so that no one thought I was absolutely insane or something. For humans it would be absolutely freezing, but for me, the temperature was actually quite nice. I walked to my apartment, and went up inside. I did have a little bit of furniture, but that was just for show, I could stand for days if the need arose.

But, I did enjoy sitting sometimes. I sat down on my couch, and thought about Alice. I had heard people saying that if someone's blood sings to you, it means they're your soul mate. Alice's blood definitely sang to me, but did it mean we were soul mates?

It made me feel like a perverted old man to even be thinking about Alice in a romantic way. She was fifteen for god sake's! How could I even be thinking about a girl that young this way? What was wrong with me? I held my head in my hands and thought. I didn't like to think about someone who was so young and fragile that way, because I knew that it wasn't like that for her.

It was hard to really consider my feelings towards Alice. In all honesty, I didn't really want to think of Alice this way, and I certainly didn't want to scare her. She was scared enough in that place as it was, she didn't need to think I was creeping on her too.

Vampires and humans truly couldn't be together. It was too hard most of the time to keep the relationship intact. It was hard for vampires and humans to co-exist, let alone actually be in a relationship together.

Tomorrow was Christmas, maybe I would take Alice something, or maybe I would take her outside or something. I wanted to do something special for her, as she had seemed so upset at how long she had been there and what day it was tomorrow.

As a vampire, you were faced with the same problem sometimes. You lost track of time, and couldn't remember how long apart things had been. I knew how Alice felt; the first years of my vampire life were completely gone. I had no idea how long it had been before life actually started making sense again.

I thought about what I could do for Alice tomorrow. I would probably convince the doctors to let me take her outside, just for a few hours at least. They knew I would bring her back safe and sound.

It was a special Christmas for me, it would be the first Christmas I had spent with anybody in years.


	4. Chapter 4: Christmas

**Just as a warning, in this chapter there are certain things that are kind of difficult to read about, and hopefully won't offend or upset many of you.**

Chapter 4: Christmas

_**Alice**_

I sat in the darkness, thinking about what Tobey had told me. He had said that he was going to try and take me outside for Christmas. I truly hoped that he would be able to take me outside, I didn't want to be cooped up in her any longer than necessary, and if I could be taken outside, it would make my day. I found myself waiting Tobey's arrival, any sound that I heard outside my cell would make me jump up and get excited.

Today I wouldn't have any shock treatments. None of the doctors were working, so I knew it wouldn't be them coming into my cell to torment me. Finally, my cell door opened, and Tobey appeared, holding something in his arms. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Ready to go outside?" he asked. I felt a smile tugging at my lips as Tobey led me out of the cell. On his arm, he had his jacket, and he put it around my shoulders so I wouldn't get cold. I could feel the adrenaline tingling through my fingers as we walked through the asylum. As we walked out the front door, I breathed in the cool, crisp air. Snow coated the ground, and I stared around myself in wonder. The brightness outside hurt my eyes slightly, but I could handle it.

It was chilly, so I hugged the jacket closer to myself, but I loved every second of this. I bent down to the ground, and made a snowball, and flung it at Tobey's back. He turned and looked at me, smile on his face.

I smiled at him and bent down to make another snowball, but by the time I had stood up, he had tackled me into a huge pile of snow. I laughed, and it was a strange sound, even to my own ears.

After a little while of playing in the snow, I began shivering, and Tobey figured it was time to take me back inside. I had his jacket wrapped tightly around my shoulders as he led me inside. I sighed quietly as we went back to my cell. I had had such an amazing day with Tobey, and now I was stuck in here again. I couldn't believe how nice it had been to get to go outside with Tobey today. A little while later he came into my cell with dinner, and sat with me while I ate. I knew he was happy to see me eating, as I hadn't actually tasted what I was eating in weeks, months, even. Today had been a good day, and I could actually stand to swallow down the food that I was eating.

Tobey had also given me a present for Christmas. It was a nice, warm sweater…it was always cold in this place.

After Tobey left, I had no idea what time it was, I lay down on my bed with the sweater wrapped tight around my shoulders, staring into the darkness. I figured it was pretty late at night, as I could hear the night crew outside my cell cleaning.

That was how I knew Tobey had left. The night crew did their rounds after Tobey left at night.

It surprised me when I heard my cell being unlocked; I looked up to see light from outside my cell pouring into it, and two figures standing in the doorway. I curled myself into a little ball as if hoping that they wouldn't see me. I didn't know what they wanted, and I hoped that it wasn't to go to a treatment.

I felt cold hands on my arms and legs, and suddenly I wasn't in my little ball anymore. They tugged at clothes, carefully peeling them away from my body until I was completely on display…and then they violated me and took advantage of me. I screamed and begged for them to stop, but they didn't. They were relentless with their assaults, and didn't stop until they reached their own pleasure. After they left I sat on my bed and cried, shaken and scared.

How could such an amazing day end so horribly?

**Tobey**

As I walked out of the asylum, I felt good. I had given Alice something that she had really wanted, and even in the darkness of her cell, I could see the light in her eyes. I could tell that she hadn't expected that I would have been able to take her outside.

I smiled to myself as I remembered the look on her face as she hurled a snowball at me. At that moment she had looked so young and happy…I had never wanted to make her go back inside; but when I saw her shivering, I knew it had been enough.

I was walking home when I smelled it. I could smell another vampire, and they were close by. I stopped walking and turned, looking all around me. Finally, I saw a figure approaching me.

"Who are you?" he asked when he was closer.

"My name is Tobey…who are you?" I asked. He had light hair…and bright red eyes. He fed off humans.

"My name is James." He said. "You smell like a human…did you feed on someone today? They smell delicious."

I stiffened slightly. Of course he could smell Alice on me.

"No, I didn't feed on someone. I don't feed off of humans." I said.

He clicked his tongue in disappointment. "Well, that's too bad, but I guess that just means there's more for me."

"You won't touch her." I growled.

"So it's a girl?" he asked, voice mocking me. I snapped my mouth shut…I would not put Alice in danger. "Is she in there?" he asked, pointing to the asylum.

I didn't say a word, just looked at him. He pointed his face towards the asylum, and took a deep breath. A small smile crept onto his face.

"Even through the thick concrete walls I can smell her in there." He laughed. "She won't be able to hide from me…no matter how much you try to protect her. I'm a tracker, Tobey, no one's ever escaped from me."

And with that, he ran off. I had to try and protect Alice as best I could. I couldn't allow anything to happen to her because of what I am. I sat down in the parking lot of the asylum with my head in my hands. How could I protect her from him? He had said that nothing would be able to stop him from getting her, and I believed him. I truly did believe that he would stop at absolutely nothing to get to Alice…and I was afraid for her life. When I had first seen her, I had known that we would have some sort of connection, and I knew the dangers of vampires and humans becoming involved with one another. I knew that if one vampire didn't end up turning a draining a human, another vampire would come along and attempt (or sometimes even succeed) in feeding off of, turning, or completely draining the human.

"Stop, please stop!" I heard suddenly from inside the asylum, and my head snapped up. I knew that voice. Her voice was panicked and scared, and she needed help, and she needed it now. I shot off the ground and ran into the asylum, and into her cell.

She was sitting on the bed, curled into a little ball, shaking. Her clothes were on the floor, and I could see the tears streaming down her face. I picked up the sweater I had given her, and wrapped it around her, before wrapping my arms around her. At first she stiffened, and then realized that it was me.

Tears were steadily streaming down her face, but she wasn't making any noise. She wasn't sobbing or talking or anything. It was like she was just a shell of her past self.

"Alice?" I whispered.

Her head didn't even move. She was probably so far gone into her own mind that she didn't even realize I had said anything. She had probably burrowed herself so deeply into her own mind, that she was just a shell. I didn't know how long this mindset would last, and it scared me to think about what would end up happening to her because of what had happened tonight. It was pretty clear what had happened to her, and in all honesty I was counting my lucky stars that James hadn't gotten his hands on her. What had happened to her was horrible, but at least she was still breathing, and at least her heart was still beating.

I did, however, want to know who had done this to her. I would rip them apart. Alice was hurt, on the inside and out, and there was nothing she could do about it, but I could get revenge on them. Whoever did this to her was going to pay for what they had done, I would make sure of that. No one deserved to be treated the way Alice had been treated, and whoever had done it was going to pay for it.

When Alice stopped crying, she closed her eyes and fell asleep, I slipped my arms away from her, and slipped out of her cell, closing the door behind me.

I had wanted to make this the best day of her life in this hellhole; it had probably turned out to be one of the worst.


	5. Chapter 5: Changing

**Chapter 5**

_**Alice**_

Nothing mattered anymore. There was nothing that mattered in my life anymore. I was empty. I was a shell of the person who I used to be. Tobey would come in three times a day, give me my meals, try and talk to me, but I couldn't eat…and couldn't talk.

I was pretty sure that the only things that were keeping me alive were the shock treatments every day. I didn't consider myself lucky. I wanted to die.

It would hurt Tobey, I knew that much, but it would only hurt him for a little bit. He would get over it after a while.

He was constantly asking me who had done it to me, but I couldn't talk. I couldn't bring myself to utter the words that he so desperately wanted to hear. I couldn't bring myself to tell him who had done it to me. He knew exactly what had happened, I was pretty sure he had known what happened the night it had happened.

"Alice, you need to eat something." He said.

I took a bite out of the sandwich he had brought me and put it back down. He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. "That's all you're going to eat?"

I didn't say anything. I knew that he was just trying me into saying something. He very well knew that I wasn't going to eat much more than what I had eaten.

"I'll see you in a bit, I have to finish my rounds." He said before exiting my cell.

After he was gone, I curled into a little ball on my bed.

_**Tobey**_

I left Alice's cell sadly. She was in bad shape. It had been two months since the incident, and she was still not talking about it. She was barely talking at all.

While I was worrying about her not eating, there was still the ever-constant, nagging fear that James the tracker would attack her. I hadn't heard anything from him, but I knew that he was lurking. Some days when I left work I could smell him. On those days, I was extra cautious walking home, I knew that I would smell like Alice, and I knew that he would torment me some more.

Two years passed without anything happening to Alice…at least nothing happening that I knew about. She was still the same every day, not talking, barely eating; her shock treatments became even worse, but I doubted she even felt them anymore to be completely honest. Whenever I heard her scream, I cringed, but, to me, it sounded as though she was faking it. There was something slightly more forced with her scream now, and I was sure it was just so she could go back to her cell quicker.

Sitting at home, I thought about Alice. I had to try and save her, but how would I be able to do that? How would I be able to save her from James _and_ the asylum? At least while she was in the asylum she was semi-safe from James, but she wasn't safe from the doctors and shock treatments.

The only thing that I could think of was to turn her into a vampire.

That thought had been crossing my mind since the day I met her and knew what her "condition" was. If I turned her she wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of the shock treatments, but I had wanted to wait until she was a bit older to turn her. Who would want to be stuck as a thirteen year old their whole life? She had been so young when they brought her in here; it was scary to me to even imagine turning her back then.

But, was it what had to be done? Was there another option for her? I had never wanted to turn anyone, I didn't want anyone to have to go through the pain that I had gone through, but how could I just allow her to die in the asylum? How would I be able to live with myself if she ended up dying in there? I sighed. If I did turn her, I had to be cautious. If James found out that I turned her, he would kill me.

I didn't have a problem with dying, but I did have a problem with Alice being left to figure out being a vampire on her own. I sighed. What was I going to do?

I took a piece of paper out of my desk and began to write.

_Alice,_

_If you are reading this right now, it more than likely means that I'm dead. I'm so sorry for doing this to you; I didn't want to have to resort to this. I didn't want to have to turn you into a vampire. You probably don't even know who I am._

_As you read this, you are a vampire, and probably won't even remember me. You are a vampire now, Alice. There's probably a burning in the back of your throat, it means that you have to feed. I would suggest feeding on animals…while humans smell much more appetizing, I'm sure you would be better off feeding on animals…especially since you're pretty much alone. I wish that I could be there to help you, I wish that I would be able to keep you safe while you try to adapt to this new life. It will be hard, I know, but there are more of us. There are more vampires all around the world._

_Don't be afraid when your mind switches and you're pulled away from reality. You're having a vision of the future, this happened to you in your human life as well._

_Do __not__ go out into the sunlight in public, your skin will sparkle as if you're made out of diamonds._

_Alice, I'm so deeply sorry that I can't be there for you through this. I know it'll be hard for you to adapt, but unfortunately you won't have a choice. It was either this life or death for you, and I would __not__ let you die. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you die. _

_Stay safe, Alice, be strong and keep fighting for as long as you can. With time, it will get better, I promise._

_-Tobey_

I reread the note for her a few times. I looked out my open window, contemplating whether or not I should tell her about her human life. I decided against it, it would be worse for her to know the horrors she had had to go through in the asylum, and I didn't know much about her life before she had been admitted into the asylum. Once or twice, when she was in a talking mood, she had told me she had had a younger sister, Cynthia, but that was really all I knew. I knew that her "real" name was Mary Alice Brandon, but did that really make much of a difference? It was just a name.

I took a deep breath. Was _I _ready to do this? I had never turned someone before, and I could remember the pain I had gone through during the transformation…was I ready to do that to someone else? I thought about how horrible it was for Alice to be in the asylum. Comparing years of being there to three days of the transformation, it seemed to not be as bad. I sighed and stood up from my desk. I was going to go get her tonight. I had put it off long enough. I should have taken her out of the asylum the day I found out about James lurking. It was time for me to do what I had to do, to do what most vampires had to do at least once in their existence.

Walking to the asylum, I had to keep repeating to myself that what I was about to do was the right thing, and was what had to be done. If I wanted to save her, I had to do this. There was no choice.

I snuck into the asylum unnoticed. I walked down the familiar corridor to her cell, and quietly opened the door.

"Alice?" I whispered.

She was curled in a little ball on the thin mattress in the corner of her cell. I moved further into her cell, and I saw her tense immediately.

"Alice, it's me, it's Tobey." I said. I saw all the tension leave her body, so I continued to talk to her softly. "I'm going to take you out of here, okay? I'm going to take you somewhere safe. Can I lift you?"

I waited for her to respond. Finally, I saw her nod her head slightly. I cradled her in my arms, and felt her tense slightly, but then she relaxed. She was so tiny; I thought I was going to break her while I was carrying her. It would have been safer for both her and I if I had ran back to my house, but I didn't want to scare her, and I knew that these moments would be her last human moments ever…and maybe my last moments with her. I knew that James would kill me for turning her…and I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could before I was killed. I know how selfish it sounded, but it was the sad truth.

I went into my house, realizing that I hadn't even locked the front door when I had left, and took her into one of the extra bedrooms. I had bought some clothing for her, and I helped her get into the articles. A pair of jeans, a plain black shirt, the sweater I had given her for Christmas, and a heavy coat. I slipped the note into the pocket of her jeans without her really noticing. I laid her out on the bed, and she looked at me. She never said a word, but I knew what she was thinking. She was wondering what I was going to do to her, but how would I be able to tell her the truth?

"I'm going to help you." I said. "You're going to be scared, but it'll get better, I promise. I know that I'm probably not making much sense, but you'll understand once it's all over…this was completely to help you."

She was quiet. She didn't say a word, didn't nod or shake her head. Nothing. She just stared with wide eyes.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, before bending close to her and biting into her neck.


	6. Chapter 6: Reborn

**Chapter 6: Reborn**

**Alice**

I vaguely knew what was happening. I knew that Tobey had taken me somewhere, was it his house? I wasn't completely sure. And then he had done something strange. He had been talking to me…something about how he was going to help me? And then I can remember him bending close to me, and feeling something sharp against my neck. What he had done hadn't hurt…I had gone through so much pain over the past years that I began to stop feeling pain.

I had begun to stop feeling lots of things, actually. Being in the asylum had numbed me.

Now, however, I could feel a slight tingling in my heart. That was all I could feel. I couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything-my eyes were closed, but for some reason I didn't want to open them. There was something going on inside of me, but I didn't know what it was. I didn't really want to know either.

No matter what was happening couldn't be any worse than what I had been going through in the past few years. I knew that Tobey would have my best interests at heart, and wouldn't hurt me. Whatever he was doing to me, I knew that it would be better for me.

I finally fell into a dark bliss. I didn't concentrate on anything, and I stopped all thoughts from entering my mind. It felt nice to not have any thoughts. It allowed me to really be able to relax. It felt…amazing.

A long while later; I was unsure of the exact amount of time, I felt something change. The tingling was beginning to change. I felt it start to fade, until I didn't feel anything anymore. The only thing I could feel was a strong burning in my throat. It was so strong that it engulfed me, and it was the only thing that I could think about.

I opened my eyes and stared around me. Something was strange but I couldn't put my finger on it. In the corner of the room, there were two men. I didn't recognize either of them. One of them had his hands around the other one's neck, as if he was going to snap it. The one who had his hands on the other guy looked angry, and a low growl erupted from him. The one who was obviously going to be killed looked at me.

"Run, Alice." he whispered. "Get as far away from here as you can."

I stood up, and shot out of the house…but not before I heard an unmistakable _snap_.

I kept running, not wanting to fall into the same fate as that man had. As I ran, I had a lt of time to think to myself. I had a lot of time to think about what had happened, but in all honesty, I didn't know much.

My name was Alice. That was all I knew about myself. My name. I had no idea how far I had run, but I just kept running. The ground seemed to be moving under my feet. Finally, I stopped running and saw that I was in a forest. I sat down on the ground, oddly feeling like I _should _be short of breath, but I wasn't.

Then I realized that I wasn't breathing. I inhaled deeply from my nose. It didn't feel like I needed to breathe, but it felt…right. It wasn't uncomfortable to not breathe, but it felt more natural.

More human.

The thought struck me so suddenly that it scared me. Wasn't I human? The thought had just come to me so naturally, as if I wasn't human anymore. I felt something in my pocket and pulled it out. I unfolded the piece of paper and read the note-scarily fast.

_Alice,_

_If you are reading this right now, it more than likely means that I'm dead. I'm so sorry for doing this to you; I didn't want to have to resort to this. I didn't want to have to turn you into a vampire. You probably don't even know who I am._

_As you read this, you are a vampire, and probably won't even remember me. You are a vampire now, Alice. There's probably a burning in the back of your throat, it means that you have to feed. I would suggest feeding on animals…while humans smell much more appetizing, I'm sure you would be better off feeding on animals…especially since you're pretty much alone. I wish that I could be there to help you, I wish that I would be able to keep you safe while you try to adapt to this new life. It will be hard, I know, but there are more of us. There are more vampires all around the world._

_Don't be afraid when your mind switches and you're pulled away from reality. You're having a vision of the future, this happened to you in your human life as well._

_Do __not__ go out into the sunlight in public, your skin will sparkle as if you're made out of diamonds._

_Alice, I'm so deeply sorry that I can't be there for you through this. I know it'll be hard for you to adapt, but unfortunately you won't have a choice. It was either this life or death for you, and I would __not__ let you die. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you die. _

_Stay safe, Alice, be strong and keep fighting for as long as you can. With time, it will get better, I promise._

_-Tobey_

I had to read it over a couple times to really get what it was saying. I was a vampire. That man…the man who had told me to run…he had died for me. I stared off into the distance for a long time. All I knew about that man was his name-Tobey. Why had he saved me, knowing that he would die by doing so? Why wouldn't he have just let me die? If his life was threatened then why wouldn't he save himself?

Had something happened between us? What was our relationship? He hadn't looked much older than me. Had we…?

What _was_ the end to that sentence? I had no idea. I was frustrated. I had absolutely no memory of my human life.

Then suddenly, I wasn't in the forest anymore. I was sitting in a…a booth? In a building with tables and chairs and booths and women were walking around holding trays of food. Sitting across from me was a blonde man with bright red eyes…I couldn't quite make out what he was saying to me, but I was immediately drawn to him. I needed to find him. I had to. Before I was pulled back into reality, I was a sign on the window that said "Sammy's Diner". Next thing I knew, I was sitting along on the forest floor again.

Then I felt the burning in my throat. What had the note said about that? To feed on animals? I cocked my head to the side and could smell an absolutely luscious smell. I couldn't quite place what it was, but it set my throat on fire. I shot off in that direction and it actually felt natural to go that quickly. Allowing my instincts to guide me, I shot into a forest clearing and pounced onto two deer, sinking my teeth into them and draining all the blood from them.

When I was finished, the burning in my throat had subsided. I could still feel a bit of a tingle there, but it wasn't too bad. Now, I just needed to find Sammy's Diner. Who had that man been in my vision? Did he maybe know what had happened to me before I was like this? What other logical reason was there to explain the vision? Deep down I knew that I needed to find him. I wasn't sure why I had to find him, but something deep inside told me I needed to.

I made my way out of the forest slowly. I looked up at the sky to see that the sun wasn't in sight. I had no idea where I was. I was in a little town, I could tell that much. There was some civilization here.

I made my way into a small shop. There was a woman at the front counter, sorting through some papers. I made my way close to her, but as I got closer I could smell something. It reminded me of the deer earlier, but this was better. It was sweet, succulent, and almost floral.

It was this woman's blood.

And it set my throat on fire.

I wanted to jump over the counter and drain her right there. She smelled _so good_.

"Can I help you?" she asked, smiling at me. She was young, that was what stopped me from draining her. She was just a teenager, with a family. With parents. Something I didn't have. "Oooooh you have those fancy coloured contacts! Do they hurt to go in?"

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"I hear they're made of glass, that must kill to put in your eyes."

I decided to play it cool. "Yes…they do burn a bit to go in."

"I can imagine!" she said. "Anyway, what can I help you with?"

"Unfortunately I will not be buying anything today…but can you help me out?"

She gave me an odd look. "With what exactly?"

"Do you know where I can find Sammy's Diner?" I asked. I held my breath in anticipation waiting for her response.

She furrowed her brow. "I don't think there's one here…I'm not sure I've ever heard of that. Hang on, let me ask my mother. Feel free to look around."

She disappeared through a door behind the front counter, and I looked around the little shop. There were articles of clothing which lined the walls. I ran my hand along a dress, smiling at the touch. I wasn't sure why I was smiling; maybe I had hoped it would give me some memory of my human life. And then there, in the corner, I saw a piece of reflective glass.

I made my way over to it, and braced myself before looking into it. My eyes were bright red. Just like that man in my vision. I closed my eyes tightly. How could I go out into public now?

"That's my favourite mirror in the whole shop," the girl's voice floated back to me. "I love the frame."

"It's nice," I said, turning back to her and going to the counter.

"Well, my mother said that there's a Sammy's Diner in Jackson," she said.

"And where is that?" I asked.

"Head North-West," she said. "Now, I don't know if that's the one you're looking for, but it's the only one either of us can think of."

"Okay…thank you," I said.

"Do you have anything with you?" she asked, I could see sympathy in her eyes.

I shook my head. "No."

"My mother told me to give you a couple things, for the road."

She handed me a leather bag with a long strap, and put a few articles of clothing in it, she also gave me a map.

"This is a map of the entire country; I couldn't find one of just the state. I wish I could give you more, but we don't have much." She also handed me some rolled up paper. "Here's some money as well, it isn't much but it's all we can really afford to give."

"That is…very generous of you," I said.

"I can tell you're lost…you probably got stranded here. I wouldn't want to get lost in an unknown town. It's really the least I could do."

"Thank you." I said.

"Good luck!" she said.

I waved goodbye to the girl as I left the store, it felt like the natural thing to do. I left the shop and headed North-West. Something inside of me told me which way to go. I don't know how long I was running until I saw a sign that said Jackson. There was a foresty area, so I quickly went into it and fed before I got into the actual town. It was the afternoon, and there was no sign of the sun, so I walked freely through the streets, until I saw it. Sammy's Diner.

I went inside and sat at a booth by the window. This wasn't right. This wasn't it.

"Can I get you anything?" a woman asked me.

"No, no thank you," I said, trying hard to ignore the scent of her blood that was assaulting my nostrils and my throat. "But do you know of another diner by the same name?"

"Sorry honey, but I have no idea," she said. "Are you going to order any food?"

I shook my head. "No…can I just sit here until I figure out where to go next?"

"Of course, it isn't busy tonight." She walked away from my table, and I looked out the window, feeling defeated.

Now where could I go? I pulled the map out of the bag and looked at it. I found where I was on the map, and looked at all the other names of cities and states on the map. None really stood out to me. None of them specifically caught my eye.

And then, I was pulled out of reality again.

I was in a house; beside me was the blonde man from the diner. There were three other people-vampires-standing by us. One was a tall blonde man, one a gorgeous woman with dark hair tumbling around her shoulders and down her back, the other an absolutely stunning woman with blonde hair.

"My name is Carlisle, this is my wife Esme, and this is Rosalie. We all live here and live under a strictly vegetarian diet. Every few years we move around. We have two other members of our coven, but they're out on a hunting trip," the tall blonde man said.

"My name is Alice, and this is Jasper," I heard myself saying. "I arrived here in Philadelphia a few months ago, and I've been waiting for Jasper since I arrived. I have visions of the future-and before arriving here I saw this coven. Which room can we have?"

And then, I was pulled back into reality. I looked down at my map, and found Philadelphia.

I guess I knew where I was going.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Decided to put her visions in italics, I didn't like that in the last chapter it seemed to just be a part of the "present" day storyline**

**Chapter 7: No Control**

As I left the diner, I figured out which way I had to go. I went to a secluded area and got ready to take off. I knew which way I had to go, and what states and towns I had to go through. I was about to start running, but was sucked into another vision.

_I was sitting on a stool in the restaurant. I had a cup of coffee in front of me-not that I would drink it, just so I could sit there-and a newspaper. I was reading an article about a man who had been found dead here; they had deemed it animal attack. Apparently I had become a regular visitor to the diner._

_Of course, I knew why I was a regular visitor. I was waiting for Jasper._

_Every single time the little bell on the door jingled, signalling that a person had entered the restaurant, my head would whip around to see if it was him._

"_Who are you waiting for, honey?" a waitress, Charlotte, asked me from behind the counter._

"_The man of my dreams," I said quietly._

_She laughed. "Well, don't hold your breath waiting."_

"_Oh I know he's coming."_

"_You're young," she said. "It's easy to get wrapped up in that type of thing when you're as young as you are."_

_I smiled at her. If only she knew._

"_Hey, maybe that's him," she said, motioning to the door. "If not, you might want to reconsider, he's a catch."_

_I turned, and saw Jasper entering the diner._

I was pulled back into reality. That vision had just accelerated my desire to get to Philadelphia and find him. I had no idea what to expect once I did find him, but I knew that I had to. It didn't matter that I had no idea what to expect upon finding him, I just knew that I had to.

I was also frustrated, though. Just as Jasper had walked into the diner, I had been pulled into reality. I began to run, and the whole time I was running, the image of his face and figure was burned into my mind. As I ran, I memorized his face. I wish that I had had some sense of when I would get to meet him. I wished that I knew when I would be able to meet him. Another image that had burned into my mind was the man who had been killed because of me. Tobey. That had been the name signed on the note to me. Tobey.

I felt tremendously guilty. Why had he sacrificed his life to save me? Why had he died for me?

So many questions…it made me wish my visions worked the other way around. I wished I could look into my past instead of the future. Maybe that'd clear everything up for me.

Okay, I doubted it'd clear _everything_ up for me, but it'd still give me some answers.

My mind was filled with wishes of the past, Jasper, and the coven I had had that vision about. They fed on animals, as I did, and they were like a family, something I longed for. I hoped that Jasper wanted to go to them as much as I did.

The idea of a family appealed to me more than anything. The idea of having that type of structure made me excited. It made me think that there would be a point to life. Of course, at this moment I did have a point-to find Jasper. Excitement and nervousness bubbled deep inside me. I was so unsure of what would happen once I met Jasper, but I was excited. I wanted to meet him and final see who he was.

After a while I stopped running, I needed to find out where I was, but before going out into public I needed to feed. I didn't trust myself. Being in that diner earlier…how long ago had that even been? But, being in that diner earlier had almost killed me. Even though I had just fed, the scent of everyone's blood had driven me insane. I had wanted to feed on everyone in there, but had just concentrated on Jasper and Philadelphia. I was sure that it'd be the same way when I went out in public here as well.

I fed in the forest and looked up at the sky, it was nighttime, and so I went out into the town area. I looked around for some clues as to where I was. After looking at a sign, I found out that I was in Kentucky. I still had quite a long way to go and I was surprised that I wasn't tired, even though I had traveled so far. I guess that was a perk of being a vampire. It was still hard to wrap my head around the fact that I was no longer human-no I didn't remember anything from my human life, but I knew that before all of this, I had been human.

When I was in public with people, I felt like I wanted to drain every single person there-but then I remembered. They likely had families. They had people who cared for them-that was what stopped me. Was that normal? Was it normal for vampires to feel remorse for people? I felt like me stopping myself from feeding on them wasn't natural. I felt weird. I wasn't sure if what I was doing was right.

Was it possible to be a bad vampire?

No-the coven I had seen in my vision only fed on animals, there had to be a reason for that. Before I could start running again, I was sucked into another vision.

_Jasper and I walked hand-in-hand up the steps to the big house. I made sure to memorize every single feature of the house; I needed to make sure I'd remember it. _

_As we got to the front door, I went to open it, but Jasper stopped me._

"_We knock first," he said, a smile lit my face. Always the gentleman._

_He knocked at the door and the blonde man opened it._

"_Hello sir," Jasper said formally. "My name is Jasper Whitlock, and this is Alice."_

_Carlisle looked between us, confused. "My name is-"_

"_Carlisle Cullen," I said for him, beaming at him._

"_How did you…?" he trailed off._

"_Oh, we have lots to tell you!" I said. "Where are Esme and Rosalie? I want to meet them, and I don't want to have to repeat our story numerous times."_

_The look of pure confusion on Carlisle's face was enough to make me laugh and push past him into the house. _

I was pulled back into reality. My visions were changing and getting clearer as I began to learn all the details. I would probably scare Carlisle by knowing the names of the people in his family, but that was okay, it'd be easier to explain my power to him that way. Excitement filled me. That vision had shown that that was still what was going to happen to me. I was still set to meet Jasper and go live with the Cullens. I was excited.

The latest vision prompted me to run even faster than I had run before. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me.

I arrived in Philadelphia the next day. The first thing I did was find the diner. It took a short amount of time-shorter than I had expected-to find it. I sat at a stool by the counter and looked around. This was definitely the right place. Relief flooded into me.

"What can I get you?" a waitress asked from behind the counter. I looked up and disappointment washed over me like a wave, she wasn't the waitress from my vision. This waitress's name was Pam.

"Um…is Charlotte working tonight?" I asked, carefully avoiding her question. How would I know what to order?

"No sweetie, she isn't working tonight. She'll be in next week I think. She's on vacation," she said. "Can I get you anything else?"

"I'll let you know in a minute," I said.

"Just call me over when you need me, it isn't busy tonight."

I nodded, and looked around. This was definitely the diner that I would meet Jasper in. it had the same set up, the same booths, and the same uniforms for the employees. An odd feeling of pride washed over me. I had done something right, I had succeeded at something.

But, I still hadn't met Jasper. And I still hadn't found where the Cullens lived.

I ordered a coffee to keep Pam off my back. Before I had ordered it I could feel her eyes on my back, so I had ordered a coffee. I didn't want to upset anyone in this diner; I knew that I'd be spending a lot of time in here. I needed that waitress, Charlotte, to be working before I could even hope to meet Jasper. I sighed. I wanted to meet him so badly, it was unreal.

Weeks passed. I fed as regularly as I could. I didn't want to devour the entire diner one night…no matter how tempting it was. Almost every single time I went into the diner, the scent of human blood would hit me like a wrecking ball. It was always so tempting to feed on the humans in the diner, the venom would pool in my mouth and my throat burned. It burned so badly it throbbed. As soon as I'd leave the diner when it closed, I'd literally race into the forest so I could feed.

However, one night, I couldn't help myself. A man walked into the diner, I had been in Philadelphia for a couple months now. My visions had been steadily getting clearer and clearer, I pretty much knew all the details of meeting the Cullens and Jasper.

Anyway, a man walked into the diner, and sat at the seat next to me in front of the counter. As soon as he had walked in, I had had a feeling he wouldn't be good news. As soon as he walked in, the scent of his blood had hit me hard. The venom pooled in my mouth and my throat was on fire.

I concentrated on the newspaper on the counter in front of me. I concentrated on the words, trying to get the meanings behind them, but I couldn't concentrate. I had been scanning the newspapers every day, hoping that Jasper's name would come up.

As the man sat next to me, his scent hit me even harder than before. I ignored him and kept my eyes on the newspaper. It took everything in me not to turn and feed on him right there.

"Hello," he said. I looked up and met his eyes. His eyes were blue. I nodded at him to greet him, then immediately turned back to my newspaper. He was quiet for a few moments, and I hoped that he would just leave me alone. Alas, he didn't. "Is the food here good?"

I didn't look up. I shrugged. "I wouldn't know."

"The coffee must be," he said, noticing my coffee mug. "Or is that just for show?"

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't touched the coffee, and he was right-I only ordered it for show…I only ordered it so I could sit in here and wait for Jasper. Paranoia seeped into me. Did he know something?

I shrugged again, trying to calm my nerves. "It's alright."

I was trying to speak as little as possible, so I could inhale as little as possible and so that I wouldn't give anything about me away. I kept catching whiffs of his scent, even though I was trying to breathe through my mouth. I could practically taste his warm blood sliding seductively down my throat and soothing the burning there…

I put a halt to those thoughts. I couldn't let those thoughts affect me. But my throat was burning so much. I wanted to drain him right then and there.

He ordered a coffee and we were both quiet. I preferred it that way. The less interaction with him, the better it would be for both of us. I didn't know why this man was speaking with me, nor did I know why he was sitting beside me. All I knew was that his blood smelled better than anything I had ever smelt before in my life.

I concentrated as hard as I could on the newspaper in front of me. I wanted to keep my mind off of this man's blood, and I would do so, no matter how hard it was.

It smelled sweet, succulent and rich. I could hear his heart beating in his chest, he was calm, but unfortunately I wasn't. I wanted him to leave. I willed him with all my might to just get off of the stool and leave. But he didn't. He stayed for another half hour after he ordered a plate of food.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

I shook my head, hoping that would suffice as a good enough answer.

"You look awfully thin," he noted. "And kind of like you haven't eaten in a while. Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"I'm positive," I said, taking a deep breath through my mouth, I had hoped that would work, but it hadn't. It just made me get a _taste_ for his blood. I wanted to get up and leave, but I couldn't bring myself to. In the back of my mind, I imagined that just as I was to leave, Jasper would show up.

I felt so conflicted. This man's blood was driving me absolutely insane, the smart and sensible thing to do would be to just leave, but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried to pick myself up off the stool and leave, I stayed rooted to it. My fear of missing Jasper was what made me stay there.

The amount of relief I felt when the diner closed was overwhelming. The man was still there, but now I could remove myself from his company. He walked out of the diner close behind me. Too close for comfort in my opinion.

"Excuse me, Miss?" he said to me.

I turned and looked at him, questioning him with my eyes.

"Would you like to come back to my apartment with me?"

I took a few steps back, distancing myself from him. "Why?"

He took a few steps closer to me. "So we can get to know each other better."

I took a few more steps back and shook my head. "No thank you. I'd just rather go home."

I turned on my heel and walked away from him, but I didn't make it very far until he grabbed me tightly and pulled me close to him.

"Come on vamp, show me what you're made of," he practically growled.

Something snapped within me and I no longer cared about the fact that he had a family and he had something to live for. I grabbed him by the arm that was holding me tightest, and snapped it at the elbow. I felt incredibly powerful and very dangerous. And the man knew I was dangerous.

_He knew you were dangerous the minute he laid his eyes on you; he just called you "vamp"._ Something whispered in the back of my mind.

"Please," I heard him whimper. I barely heard him though; I was fixated on his arm. Blood was pouring out of it, and I couldn't take my eyes off it. Venom pooled in my mouth as I bent down close to him and met his eyes. I could see relief flood in his eyes, and I truly didn't understand it. I was about to drain him of all the sweet succulent blood he had. Why would he be relieved?

Before he could say anything, I snapped his neck and drained him.


	8. Chapter 8: Finally

**Chapter 8: Finally**

Days, weeks, years passed, and there wasn't a sign of Jasper. Our meeting was getting blurry when I viewed it in the future, and it almost made me lose hope. It had been so clear before, what had changed? Maybe he had been in the area, but hadn't come into the diner? I didn't know.

I thought back to the night I had first tasted human blood. Could that have made Jasper decide to leave Philadelphia? Maybe he had feared someone would think it was him? There had been a lot of news coverage about the man who I had killed, but it was deemed an animal attack. I wasn't suspected at all, and I was so thankful for that.

But would Jasper have thought that people may have suspected him? Maybe that had caused him to leave? I had had a feeling he was here, in Philadelphia, because every single detail of our meeting was clear and concise in my mind. I knew it right down to the minute he would walk through the door. But then, after that night, it had gone blurry. Now all I could see was his face in the diner with me. That was it.

So we were still meant to meet here, it was just the minor details that were unclear to me. Like what he would be wearing, the time he'd come, everything like that.

I don't know how much time had passed, but I noticed some changed in the diner. Charlotte aged. Lines settled into her face, she gained some weight, and her hair had greyed a substantial amount.

"You know, hun, you gotta tell me your secret," she said. I looked up at her, question in my eyes. "You haven't aged a bit since the day you walked in here. Hell, I don't even know how long you've been coming in here. I know you're young, and you don't change much after twenty, but it's been _years_. My kids were in diapers when you walked in here, now they're having kids of their own! What's your secret?"

I shrugged. "I've got good company all the time."

She smiled. "I didn't know it was my influence keeping you looking young. You ordering anything today?"

"Coffee, please."

She poured me a cup, and then said, "Let me know if you want anything else." She then began walking around the diner to serve other customers coffee. I picked up the newspaper on the bar in front of me and skimmed through it. There was a story on the front page about a man who had been found dead here, it had been deemed an animal attack. It wasn't me; I hadn't touched human blood since that one time. As I was reading, I was pulled into a vision.

_I was sitting in the same seat in the diner, clutching the coffee cup in front of me. I was reading the article about the man who had been attacked by an animal._

"_Who exactly are you waiting for, honey?" Charlotte asked me. We hadn't spoken about this in all the years I had come here. She had never asked me why I came in everyday, some days not ordering anything. _

"_The man of my dreams," I said simply._

_She laughed. "Well, don't hold your breath waiting for him."_

"_Oh, I know he's coming."_

"_You're young," she said. "It's easy to get wrapped up in that type of thing when you're as young as you are."_

_I smiled at her. If only she knew._

"_Hey, maybe that's him," she said, motioning to the door. "If not, you might want to reconsider, he's a catch."_

_I turned, and saw Jasper entering the diner._

I was pulled back into reality and gasped. Charlotte came back over to me and gave me a weird look.

"Who exactly are you waiting for honey?" she asked, putting the coffee pot in its rightful place. I stared at her with wide eyes, and said the first thing that came into my mind.

"The man of my dreams."

She laughed. "Well, don't hold your breath waiting for him."

It was happening; it was really happening. "Oh, I know he's coming."

"You're young," she said. I could barely contain my excitement. It was happening. I was going to meet him. "It's easy to get wrapped up in that type of thing when you're as young as you are." I smiled at her, feeling as though she had opened up my entire universe, just from a few simple words. "Hey, maybe that's him," she motioned to the door. "If not, you might want to reconsider, he's a catch."

I turned and saw Jasper walking through the door.


	9. Chapter 9: Stories

**Chapter 9: Stories**

I hopped down from the stool I had been perched on and went directly to him. I had to keep myself from running at him and barreling into him. Anticipation welled up inside me. He was _so_ gorgeous and he was definitely who I had been waiting for. It was him. He was _finally _here. His eyes were dark though, not red as I had first envisioned.

As I stood before him, he looked like he was about to crouch into a defensive stance, so I grinned widely at him and it seemed to make him relax. The emotions coursing through me were almost overwhelming me. I was so overcome with joy and happiness and relief that he was _finally_ here and that we were finally meeting.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," I said.

He ducked his head, looking like an adorable Southern gentleman and said, "I'm sorry ma'am."

I held out my hand for him, and he took it without even the slightest bit of hesitation. I led him to a booth in the corner of the diner where we could talk openly without anyone overhearing. The diner was basically empty; I just didn't want any waitresses hearing our conversation. I was sure that what we were talking about wouldn't exactly be for human ears. I told him all about the Cullen family.

"They're like me," I began. "They only drink from animals. Carlisle, he's a doctor, and he's basically the head of the family. I don't know if the others have jobs, but I don't think they do. I think Edward helps Carlisle in the hospital sometimes, but I'm not sure. Carlisle and Esme, Esme is his mate, pretend that they're the parents of Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett. Rosalie and Emmett are mates. I want to join their coven."

He folded his hands on the table. "I want to go anywhere with you, little lady. But, I have a question. How do you know all this? And how did you know that I would come here?"

My stomach dropped. Both dread and joy welled up inside of me. I was joyous because he had said he wanted to go with me, but I felt dread because I hadn't wanted to get to how I knew things. He'd definitely think I was a freak if I told him. Obviously I had assumed he would ask how I knew, but I hadn't wanted to tell him. The fear of being rejected stabbed at me. For some reason, that feeling felt familiar, but I couldn't place why.

He covered my hands with his. "I know all about the powers vampires have, Alice, I won't judge you for it. Would it make you feel better if I told you mine?" I nodded and he continued, "I can feel and manipulate the emotions of the people around me. In fact right now, I can feel that the woman three tables over is feeling upset…or even depressed. I can assume that since she's alone, she's going through some type of divorce or serious family issue. She's feeling isolated, lonely, and she's unsure of what to do with herself except drink her coffee and hope for the best."

"And what do you get from me?" I asked.

"Joy…and a little bit of fear. Why the fear?" he asked curiously.

A sheepish smile spread across my face. "I was worried you would think that I'm crazy."

He chuckled. "No, darling, I won't think you're crazy."

"I can see visions of the future," I said. I studied his face to see if there was any judgement there…but there wasn't any so I continued. "I had a vision of meeting you at this diner, so I waited here. I've also had visions of the Cullens and us meeting them. I don't know where they are now, those parts of the visions haven't been clear lately."

"We'll find them," he assured me.

I smiled widely at him again. "Oh, I know we will. Once we find out where to go to find them, it'll get easier."

"Tell me more about you," he said.

I shrugged. "There isn't much to tell. I began in Mississippi, and then I came here to wait for you. I don't remember my human life at all. I do know that a man turned me to save my life, but that's it. I can only remember his face, and put the pieces together from a letter he gave me. What's your story?"

He smiled wryly. "Don't you already know that?"

I laughed, and it sounded unfamiliar in my own ears. "I can only see the future, Jasper, not the past."

"I'm going to warn you now, it's a gruesome story, and I want to put that life behind me."

I squeezed his hand. "I know. It's okay, tell me."

"Well, as you can see, I'm covered in bite marks much like the one you have." I took a closer look at him and saw that he was in fact covered with crescent shaped scars like the one I had seen on my neck. I gasped quietly and he continued. "Alice, I know that you've really only been to two different places in your lifetime, but there are places in this world for people like us where we can be less restrained than we need to be when we're around humans. Places like these have very, very high populations. And when I say high, I mean that they are basically over-populated, so it's easier for us to…feed there. Have you…have you heard about the Volturi, Alice?"

"The what?"

He took a deep breath. "I'll explain about them after I'm done my story, alright?" I nodded and he continued, "Many vampires from the Southern states want to fight for their land, so that they can get the overpopulated areas. They'll create…armies."

"Armies?" I asked, concept foreign to me.

"It is a large group of people that are trained to fight together."

"How do these vampires make these armies?" I asked.

"They turn them," he said simply.

"And that's how you were turned?" I whispered, realization seeping into me.

He nodded. "I joined the military," at my look he said. "It's the human army; anyway, I joined it in 1861. I wasn't even twenty years old yet. While in the army, though it was short-lived, I was in charge of evacuating women and children from the city when boats reached the harbour for them. One night, I found three women who were on foot. I assumed they had been left behind and dismounted my horse at once to offer them my help, as I had assumed they needed it. When I saw their faces, they were quite possibly the three most beautiful women I had seen in my life-well...before I met you." He paused to wink wistfully at me, and a shy smile spread across my face, but I was engrossed in his story. "I immediately knew that they weren't members of the party I had prepared earlier that day, as I would have definitely remembered their faces. They were talking in a way that I didn't understand. It wasn't that they were speaking in another language, which for a portion of the conversation they had been, but it was the content of their conversation that I didn't understand. They were talking about how they wanted to keep me, and how one of them killed "them" twice as often as she kept them.

"It was all very confusing, my instincts were screaming at me to run from them, that they were dangerous, that they had been speaking about killing, but I couldn't move. My feet were rooted to the ground. Two of them left, saying that they were going to go hunt, and I was left with the brunette one who was obviously in charge. Her name was Maria. She asked my name, and I told her without missing a beat.

"And then she said, 'I truly hope you survive Jasper, I have good feeling about you.' I, of course had no idea what she meant. She took a step closer to me, so she was mere inches away from me, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood rooted to the spot, unable to move, instincts still screaming at me to run. A few days later, I woke up, and I was like this. They had me join their army and I…I ended up helping them. We won the war at hand but I slowly began to despise myself. I began to feel depressed.

"Though we had won the main wars, Maria wanted more. She didn't want to stop, and I couldn't do anything except follow her. She was the only one keeping me alive, and she could murder me in a second. One night, she had instructed me to murder every newborn who had lived past one year of vampire life, as they were of use to her. I enlisted in the help of another vampire who I had become friends with, Peter. I can remember him trying to stop me from killing some of them but I…I didn't listen. The breaking point for Peter was when I got to the eighth newborn, her name was Charlotte. As she walked towards us, I could feel him change immediately. He became absolutely furious. He knew that I wouldn't spare her, so he told her to run, and he went with her. Maria, Lucy, and Nettie didn't even try to stop them.

"I became very tired of that life. The killing, the bloodshed, everything, it became depressing because of my ability to feel emotions. It depressed me to the point of contemplating suicide. Five years after he left, Peter came back for me, but I had already left Maria's side. Peter and Charlotte helped me. I am not ashamed to say that they saved my life.

"For the past while, I've been roaming the country, keeping a low profile. And now I've found you…and for the first time in a long time…I feel hope."

"That is…that is quite a story," I breathed.

He smiled warmly at me. "I've never shared that with anyone before."

"I can tell," I said. "What are the…the Volturi?"

He took a deep breath. "They are the vampire police basically. They live in Italy, and they keep the peace with vampires."

"Are they dangerous?"

He hesitated. "Only if they need to be."

"I see," I said quietly. I hadn't known vampires needed policing. It worried me.

"Have you ever tasted human blood?" he asked curiously.

I looked away from him immediately. "Once."

He whistled in astonishment. "You've got quite some control there, don't ya?"

I smiled. "Yes…I guess I do."

"What's next for us?" he asked.

"We find the Cullens."


End file.
